and i feel like this
Friday, August 22, 2008
Thursday, August 14, 2008
ZOMFG
yeah, i'm back. the usual i'm hungover, half awake, and feel like giving a dozen people stone cold stunners.
that should be me if i wasn't so lazy.
so new stuff...
i was introduced to the world's most awesome band. go ahead and argue that after this
thats their slower song...but i think people are into that because it's summer. and summer means sissy. anyways, check them out at www.myspace.com/rattler
i went to the bar last night and got awesome in the name of rattler by making my own drink with my friend calum and his brother al (which has his own amazing blog: http://hotdoginthefreezer.blogspot.com ) it is called The Murloney and this is how it is done:
-get a jack and coke
-no ice
-fill it 3 quarters
-shot of jager
-drop that shot in and pound back the whole glass
-realize you have just become a man
-find out your friends are all nailing your ex gf
-ironically see that girl at the bar
-do a murloney infront of her
-deny her when she tries to make out with you
-do another murloney
-frighten everyone around you at the bar with your rowdyness and incredible dance moves
-do another murloney
-walk home and hit 7-11 for a pita and a slurpee
-wake up in the morning in different clothes you passed out in and figure out what happened one step at a time
i'm not sure if you wanna go past the 4th or 5th step but that's how i did it and it's the proper way.
it's going to be a very long day.
that should be me if i wasn't so lazy.
so new stuff...
i was introduced to the world's most awesome band. go ahead and argue that after this
thats their slower song...but i think people are into that because it's summer. and summer means sissy. anyways, check them out at www.myspace.com/rattler
i went to the bar last night and got awesome in the name of rattler by making my own drink with my friend calum and his brother al (which has his own amazing blog: http://hotdoginthefreezer.blogspot.com ) it is called The Murloney and this is how it is done:
-get a jack and coke
-no ice
-fill it 3 quarters
-shot of jager
-drop that shot in and pound back the whole glass
-realize you have just become a man
-find out your friends are all nailing your ex gf
-ironically see that girl at the bar
-do a murloney infront of her
-deny her when she tries to make out with you
-do another murloney
-frighten everyone around you at the bar with your rowdyness and incredible dance moves
-do another murloney
-walk home and hit 7-11 for a pita and a slurpee
-wake up in the morning in different clothes you passed out in and figure out what happened one step at a time
i'm not sure if you wanna go past the 4th or 5th step but that's how i did it and it's the proper way.
it's going to be a very long day.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
RUSSIA'S ''ROULETTE'' WILL NOT PICNIC WITH ROGERS WIRELESS
June 25, 2008
TORONTO (CMARM) - Russia's emo rock band Roulette is upset after it was announced today that they were not going to be included in the official line-up at this summer's second annual Rogers Picnic Music Festival in Toronto, Canada.
Roulette's lead singer, Nikolay "Nikki" Minkov who, after almost a decade, still refuses to speak to the press or the rest of the band, deferred comment, via text message, on the situation to Roulette's bassist, Alexey Belov.
Belov complained, "I don't understand why. Is this personal or politics? I don't think that anyone on that continent can afford to ignore our following or our music. We love America, especially Toronto - nice style, nice women but it doesn't matter - Roulette doesn't need Rogers Picnic, Rogers Picnic needs Roulette."
When reached for response regarding their line-up decision, Rogers Picnic organizers and promoters declined comment.
Rogers Picnic is a one day, outdoor music festival being held Sunday July 20th this summer at Toronto's Historic Fort York. Confirmed artist include City and Colour, Cat Power, Animal Collective, Tokyo Police Club, Born Ruffians, The Carps, Chromeo, Vampire Weekend, and Dizzee Rascal. Rogers Picnic event details and ticket information can be found online at rogerspicnic.com.
TORONTO (CMARM) - Russia's emo rock band Roulette is upset after it was announced today that they were not going to be included in the official line-up at this summer's second annual Rogers Picnic Music Festival in Toronto, Canada.
Roulette's lead singer, Nikolay "Nikki" Minkov who, after almost a decade, still refuses to speak to the press or the rest of the band, deferred comment, via text message, on the situation to Roulette's bassist, Alexey Belov.
Belov complained, "I don't understand why. Is this personal or politics? I don't think that anyone on that continent can afford to ignore our following or our music. We love America, especially Toronto - nice style, nice women but it doesn't matter - Roulette doesn't need Rogers Picnic, Rogers Picnic needs Roulette."
When reached for response regarding their line-up decision, Rogers Picnic organizers and promoters declined comment.
Rogers Picnic is a one day, outdoor music festival being held Sunday July 20th this summer at Toronto's Historic Fort York. Confirmed artist include City and Colour, Cat Power, Animal Collective, Tokyo Police Club, Born Ruffians, The Carps, Chromeo, Vampire Weekend, and Dizzee Rascal. Rogers Picnic event details and ticket information can be found online at rogerspicnic.com.
Fluent in LOL Cat
pretty much the problem with friends/girlfriends is that they always have to tell you it's not a good idea just when you're about to get overly awesome...then this came into my life:
so besides the video being blatantly homo-erotic it looks something like this
it's somewhat like a magic 8 ball, only it always tells you it's a good idea.
i documented my first week with it
day 1: get the gadget, not too sure what is going on. begin drinking. technically i'm not alone because i'm interrogating the gadget the whole time. i ask it if i should keep drinking, it replies with gladtastic...i'm pretty sure that this is a yes. this goes on for hours.
day 2: i wake up at sunrise in my neighbors garden who is yelling at me in japanese. i ask the gadget how it's doing and it replies wondergreat. i feel the opposite.
to be continued!
so besides the video being blatantly homo-erotic it looks something like this
it's somewhat like a magic 8 ball, only it always tells you it's a good idea.
i documented my first week with it
day 1: get the gadget, not too sure what is going on. begin drinking. technically i'm not alone because i'm interrogating the gadget the whole time. i ask it if i should keep drinking, it replies with gladtastic...i'm pretty sure that this is a yes. this goes on for hours.
day 2: i wake up at sunrise in my neighbors garden who is yelling at me in japanese. i ask the gadget how it's doing and it replies wondergreat. i feel the opposite.
to be continued!
Monday, May 12, 2008
At The Drive In
Today's rambling was inspired by this video, observe:
Where did they get the hackey sack you might ask? They robbed and killed someone for it. That is all.
Where did they get the hackey sack you might ask? They robbed and killed someone for it. That is all.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Ja Rule called...
I got interviewed today about skateboarding. It's for an online magazine that's starting up and I hope they don't get bummed out that I'm posting it on here a bit early. Here it is:
Pat Maloney….. The man puts a smile on my face every time I see him… I remember this one time me and Steve Pritula (AGK photographer) went on a trip to Toronto to go skate in the winter and the place we were at got hit by lightning. Lightning in winter?? So I quickly call Pat ask him if we can chill at his pad he of course says yes. So he lives not even 20 min away since this storm is so bad it took us an hour to get there. We finally get there greeted with high fives and vodka. So were chillin we start playing video games and we play xbox 360 live halo 2 and Pat starts talking in a new jersey accent just rippin on everyone saying he’s a Gay Guido and just Fucks with everyone. I cried for 2 hours straight. AGK
1. Age, location, and where were yeah born?
21 years young, currently living downtown Toronto but grew up in the wonderful guido district of Niagara Falls.
2. So I think you’re the Jake Phelps (thrasher magazine editor) of Canada. I think you need to talk about the skateboard industry what’s your take on it?
(laughs) The skate industry is weird stuff, all politics really. More older dudes should be getting on companies rather then the younger ones with shitty attitudes. The younger ones lately are mostly mouthy and cocky but nothing a spin kick can’t fix.
3. What’s Panther Starship all about and who’s in it?
Panther Starship was actually started off as a fake band I thought of after 48 hours of no sleep. I would go around telling girls my band, Panther Starship, was playing at a certain time/venue and for them to show. You know, little ice breaker (laughs). My friend Matt Hariski (Whiskey) wanted to start a board company and needed a name so we decided to make it Panther Starship. Whiskey also played the keytar in Panther Starship when we told everyone we had a band, which is important. It’s just based around getting awesome, that’s the image. The 80’s, beers, bbqs, heavy metal, ladies, high fives, etc. We got a really solid bbqrew (team) that I’m stoked on but can’t reveal just yet. The video should be done by December we hope. If not, we’ll all get drunk and watch Space Jam and it’ll be the same thing.
4. How’s the scene up in Toronto?
Not bad really. A lot of people take skateboarding too seriously and there’s a ton of drama in the scene, but at the same time there’s some incredibly rad people here too. It balances itself out for sure. Dave Nolan was telling me the other week about how out of all the places he’s traveled around the world that Toronto is his favourite place. Says it all right there.
5. What yeah think about the scene in Niagara?
The skate scene is new to me in Niagara. We never had a skate community until the park and AntiGravity opened for everyone to meet up, talk, and go from there. Before that it was always just go around the city and skate the 2 or 3 spots we actually had and maybe see a new face or two. I’m stoked to see everyone there supporting independent shops and companies too. Everyone knows that huge companies like West 49 are lame. Look at the people who go there and buy their stuff! Emos, guidos, and jocks? So cool!
6. Tragically, Mike Day passed away last year if you could say one last sentence to him what would you say?
I wouldn’t say a word, I’d let our skate session do the talking.
7. Have any good stories?
Too many really, everyday seems like something new happens. Recently though i was at the st catharines skatepark the other weekend about to drop into a ramp when I heard a bunch of screaming from behind me. i look behind me and there's 6 teenage girls running away from an angry flying canadian goose. one of the girls splits away from the group, screaming, when the goose follows her jumps on her back and she whipes out on the ground. just when it looks like the goose is about to get gnar on her, this minivan comes ripping around the corner honking and going nuts. this old guy gets out and begins yelling at the goose, but stopped when the goose flew at him and he ran back in his van with the girl who was knocked down. the old guy throws it reverse, bringing the girl to the doors of the arena she left from, where she ran through the doors screaming even though the goose was nowhere near her. everyone was watching from the skatepark, dying laughing. just when we thought it was over, it was far from it. the old guy tries to run over the goose, but having no luck, he decided to go near the goose and rev the engine at it. this is the point where i completely lost it and fell to the ground laughing. the goose casually walked away back to his spot and waited for more people to gnar. as ice cube once said, 'it was a good day'.
8. How do you feel about Ryan Sheckler and his new TV show Life of Ryan?
The skidmark of skateboarding? Lame. I’m surprised he isn’t on west 49, he’s a typical customer. To be completely honest, I entered that contest West 49 is having right now to meet Ryan Sheckler. If I win, my plan is to get people to donate money to me and if I get enough, I will kick Ryan Sheckler in the crotch. All proceeds will go to charity and helping build new skate parks in the community.
9. Do you think it helps skateboarding?
Not at all. It makes us all look like cry baby jocks with our last names tattooed across our backs. Skateboarding has drastically declined in popularity this year, figure that one out.
10. Who’s Ripping nowadays?
Oh man, so many people. All of AGK are rippers and just run Niagara Park like nothing, so all those guys. Dave Nolan, Dan Arget, Matt Hariski, Veenstra, Erika PK, Mike Morris and all the Friendly skateboards dudes, Matt Mongeri, Wojtek Zawada, Steve Bureau, Aaron Power, Hayden Currie, Matt Maloney, all of the Windsor/ Change skateboard dudes like Hill Sulpher, Dallas Ives, Mikey Plantus, Jesse Tessier, Bilingual James Denomme. I’m missing a ton of peope but anyone whose having fun skating is a ripper.
11. What music are you rockin now?
(laughs) a lot of metal and punk, the usual. Kill Cheerleader, Motorhead, Misfits, Joy Divison, Bad Brains, all the best of both genres really. If it’s fast and rad then I’ll rock it. I like a ton of mellow stuff too like Elliot Smith and Cat Power. Some hip hop, but it’s all old stuff and Dr Octagon. Daft Punk is always good too.
12. So lets do a Thrasher word association here.
Panther Starship- vortex of awesome.
Purple- goes good with green.
AGK- Niagara Falls
Skateboarding- devine.
Rollerblading- hilarious.
Toronto- gorgeous.
West 49- ryan sheckler
Fully flared- 10 years ahead of it’s time.
Butter On My Bread- incredible.
Matt Mongeri- style.
Greco- should’ve stayed on heroin.
13. What’s your take on what were doing here at AGK?
Amazing, but I want to see an Anthony Nedea pro model board eventually.
14. Shout outs?
I name dropped enough in the who rips question (laughs). So anyone I skate with, hang with, love... And Rick Moranis and Steve Buschemi. Get Awesome.
Pat Maloney….. The man puts a smile on my face every time I see him… I remember this one time me and Steve Pritula (AGK photographer) went on a trip to Toronto to go skate in the winter and the place we were at got hit by lightning. Lightning in winter?? So I quickly call Pat ask him if we can chill at his pad he of course says yes. So he lives not even 20 min away since this storm is so bad it took us an hour to get there. We finally get there greeted with high fives and vodka. So were chillin we start playing video games and we play xbox 360 live halo 2 and Pat starts talking in a new jersey accent just rippin on everyone saying he’s a Gay Guido and just Fucks with everyone. I cried for 2 hours straight. AGK
1. Age, location, and where were yeah born?
21 years young, currently living downtown Toronto but grew up in the wonderful guido district of Niagara Falls.
2. So I think you’re the Jake Phelps (thrasher magazine editor) of Canada. I think you need to talk about the skateboard industry what’s your take on it?
(laughs) The skate industry is weird stuff, all politics really. More older dudes should be getting on companies rather then the younger ones with shitty attitudes. The younger ones lately are mostly mouthy and cocky but nothing a spin kick can’t fix.
3. What’s Panther Starship all about and who’s in it?
Panther Starship was actually started off as a fake band I thought of after 48 hours of no sleep. I would go around telling girls my band, Panther Starship, was playing at a certain time/venue and for them to show. You know, little ice breaker (laughs). My friend Matt Hariski (Whiskey) wanted to start a board company and needed a name so we decided to make it Panther Starship. Whiskey also played the keytar in Panther Starship when we told everyone we had a band, which is important. It’s just based around getting awesome, that’s the image. The 80’s, beers, bbqs, heavy metal, ladies, high fives, etc. We got a really solid bbqrew (team) that I’m stoked on but can’t reveal just yet. The video should be done by December we hope. If not, we’ll all get drunk and watch Space Jam and it’ll be the same thing.
4. How’s the scene up in Toronto?
Not bad really. A lot of people take skateboarding too seriously and there’s a ton of drama in the scene, but at the same time there’s some incredibly rad people here too. It balances itself out for sure. Dave Nolan was telling me the other week about how out of all the places he’s traveled around the world that Toronto is his favourite place. Says it all right there.
5. What yeah think about the scene in Niagara?
The skate scene is new to me in Niagara. We never had a skate community until the park and AntiGravity opened for everyone to meet up, talk, and go from there. Before that it was always just go around the city and skate the 2 or 3 spots we actually had and maybe see a new face or two. I’m stoked to see everyone there supporting independent shops and companies too. Everyone knows that huge companies like West 49 are lame. Look at the people who go there and buy their stuff! Emos, guidos, and jocks? So cool!
6. Tragically, Mike Day passed away last year if you could say one last sentence to him what would you say?
I wouldn’t say a word, I’d let our skate session do the talking.
7. Have any good stories?
Too many really, everyday seems like something new happens. Recently though i was at the st catharines skatepark the other weekend about to drop into a ramp when I heard a bunch of screaming from behind me. i look behind me and there's 6 teenage girls running away from an angry flying canadian goose. one of the girls splits away from the group, screaming, when the goose follows her jumps on her back and she whipes out on the ground. just when it looks like the goose is about to get gnar on her, this minivan comes ripping around the corner honking and going nuts. this old guy gets out and begins yelling at the goose, but stopped when the goose flew at him and he ran back in his van with the girl who was knocked down. the old guy throws it reverse, bringing the girl to the doors of the arena she left from, where she ran through the doors screaming even though the goose was nowhere near her. everyone was watching from the skatepark, dying laughing. just when we thought it was over, it was far from it. the old guy tries to run over the goose, but having no luck, he decided to go near the goose and rev the engine at it. this is the point where i completely lost it and fell to the ground laughing. the goose casually walked away back to his spot and waited for more people to gnar. as ice cube once said, 'it was a good day'.
8. How do you feel about Ryan Sheckler and his new TV show Life of Ryan?
The skidmark of skateboarding? Lame. I’m surprised he isn’t on west 49, he’s a typical customer. To be completely honest, I entered that contest West 49 is having right now to meet Ryan Sheckler. If I win, my plan is to get people to donate money to me and if I get enough, I will kick Ryan Sheckler in the crotch. All proceeds will go to charity and helping build new skate parks in the community.
9. Do you think it helps skateboarding?
Not at all. It makes us all look like cry baby jocks with our last names tattooed across our backs. Skateboarding has drastically declined in popularity this year, figure that one out.
10. Who’s Ripping nowadays?
Oh man, so many people. All of AGK are rippers and just run Niagara Park like nothing, so all those guys. Dave Nolan, Dan Arget, Matt Hariski, Veenstra, Erika PK, Mike Morris and all the Friendly skateboards dudes, Matt Mongeri, Wojtek Zawada, Steve Bureau, Aaron Power, Hayden Currie, Matt Maloney, all of the Windsor/ Change skateboard dudes like Hill Sulpher, Dallas Ives, Mikey Plantus, Jesse Tessier, Bilingual James Denomme. I’m missing a ton of peope but anyone whose having fun skating is a ripper.
11. What music are you rockin now?
(laughs) a lot of metal and punk, the usual. Kill Cheerleader, Motorhead, Misfits, Joy Divison, Bad Brains, all the best of both genres really. If it’s fast and rad then I’ll rock it. I like a ton of mellow stuff too like Elliot Smith and Cat Power. Some hip hop, but it’s all old stuff and Dr Octagon. Daft Punk is always good too.
12. So lets do a Thrasher word association here.
Panther Starship- vortex of awesome.
Purple- goes good with green.
AGK- Niagara Falls
Skateboarding- devine.
Rollerblading- hilarious.
Toronto- gorgeous.
West 49- ryan sheckler
Fully flared- 10 years ahead of it’s time.
Butter On My Bread- incredible.
Matt Mongeri- style.
Greco- should’ve stayed on heroin.
13. What’s your take on what were doing here at AGK?
Amazing, but I want to see an Anthony Nedea pro model board eventually.
14. Shout outs?
I name dropped enough in the who rips question (laughs). So anyone I skate with, hang with, love... And Rick Moranis and Steve Buschemi. Get Awesome.
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Kevin Costner < Uncle Jesse
i was at the st catharines skatepark today about to drop into a ramp when i heard a bunch of screaming from behind me. i look behind me and there's 6 teenage girls running away from an angry flying canadian goose. one of the girls splits away from the group, screaming, when the goose follows her jumps on her back and she whipes out on the ground. just when it looks like the goose is about to get gnar on her, this minivan comes ripping around the corner honking and going nuts. this old guy gets out and begins yelling at the goose, but stopped when the goose flew at him and he ran back in his van with the girl who was knocked down. the old guy throws it reverse, bringing the girl to the doors of the arena she left from, where she ran thruogh the doors screaming even though the goose was nowhere near her. everyone was watching from the skatepark, dying laughing. just when we thought it was over, it was far from it. the old guy tries to run over the goose, but having no luck, he decided to go near the goose and rev the engine at it. this is the point where i completely lost it and fell to the ground laughing. the goose casually walked away back to his spot and waited for more people to gnar. as ice cube once said, 'it was a good day'.
Friday, April 4, 2008
Grab That Gun
my house is haunted, it sucks. it's super old and creepy and in the middle of kensington market. there's a bricked off room and some old coal room that smells like a shania twain concert. we've had a ton of problems with the ghosts attacking people, flipping over chairs, breaking stuff, dressing up like keanu reeves and touching my butt in the middle of the night, and slamming doors. previous owners have talked about them as well and say it's the owners who lived in the house since the beginning who passed away and don't like others living here. instead of trying to get rid of them, i decided i'd get even. how? well, clearing out the shed and cutting it apart to make a half pipe is a start. i dedicate these next pics to the ghosts.
here is whiskey with a back smith. notice the lens flare, which i suspect is a pissed off ghost.
frontside 5-0. im also kind of transparent in this, but it's because ghosts are trying to distract me from landing this. i landed it and threw up a westside gang gesture...for west of college st. cred.
all on tape too just in case the ghosts think that we made this on photoshop. go look, it's there.
ghosts: 5
pat + noisy/drunken/obnoxious mini ramp: like... 10,000.
here is whiskey with a back smith. notice the lens flare, which i suspect is a pissed off ghost.
frontside 5-0. im also kind of transparent in this, but it's because ghosts are trying to distract me from landing this. i landed it and threw up a westside gang gesture...for west of college st. cred.
all on tape too just in case the ghosts think that we made this on photoshop. go look, it's there.
ghosts: 5
pat + noisy/drunken/obnoxious mini ramp: like... 10,000.
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Prance Prance Revolution
sorry i haven't updated in a while. i was on vacation. here are some photos.
me leaving.
me fishing with some guy that i don't even know. he kept asking me to call him uncle richard and talked about the war a lot. whatever.
me clubbing. we eventually ended up fighting some people in a parking lot and drove away in our souped up civic. it was a good night.
me with presents i'm bringing back for everyone.
me at some...well i don't even know how this happened. but it was a good vacation and i'm glad to be back. more to come tomorrow.
me leaving.
me fishing with some guy that i don't even know. he kept asking me to call him uncle richard and talked about the war a lot. whatever.
me clubbing. we eventually ended up fighting some people in a parking lot and drove away in our souped up civic. it was a good night.
me with presents i'm bringing back for everyone.
me at some...well i don't even know how this happened. but it was a good vacation and i'm glad to be back. more to come tomorrow.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Teenagers From Mars (And We Don't Care)
Ok before I start...
Now that's out of the way, let's talk about the importance of St. Patty's day. Now, you might be an asshole and think that St. Patty's Day is stupid, and you're right; you do suck at life. It isn't all about the irish, it's about getting drunk with the people you love. If you're doing it right, the night should look something like this half way through
if you feel like getting really epic, you should play wizard sticks. wizard sticks is an awesome game you play with your friends where you finish a can of beer and tape your new one to the top. it should look something as awesome as this:
i've heard different rules about wizard sticks where first one to drink their height in wizard stick wins, but i actually think no one wins with those rules. it's best to just see who has the highest one by the end of the night and then receives a high five or gets their back rubbed when they throw up.
pubs are an okay choice, but they are filled with jocks,bros, and guidos who aren't even irish but take it way too seriously. it's a better idea just to stock up on a ton of booze and throw a party (not at your own house). the point of green beer is so when you throw up it's funny. be back in a day or two.
Now that's out of the way, let's talk about the importance of St. Patty's day. Now, you might be an asshole and think that St. Patty's Day is stupid, and you're right; you do suck at life. It isn't all about the irish, it's about getting drunk with the people you love. If you're doing it right, the night should look something like this half way through
if you feel like getting really epic, you should play wizard sticks. wizard sticks is an awesome game you play with your friends where you finish a can of beer and tape your new one to the top. it should look something as awesome as this:
i've heard different rules about wizard sticks where first one to drink their height in wizard stick wins, but i actually think no one wins with those rules. it's best to just see who has the highest one by the end of the night and then receives a high five or gets their back rubbed when they throw up.
pubs are an okay choice, but they are filled with jocks,bros, and guidos who aren't even irish but take it way too seriously. it's a better idea just to stock up on a ton of booze and throw a party (not at your own house). the point of green beer is so when you throw up it's funny. be back in a day or two.
Friday, March 14, 2008
Tight Pants, Wide Stance
so i think i'm going to start my own skateboard company...shirts, boards, stickers, etc. other ideas i have for product:
-bibs. so if you're eating ribs and skating you won't look like a drunk.
-bbq tongs. if you're going to live by the 4 b's (boards,bbqs,beer,and bitches) then this is a necessity.
-a board with gary busey on it. eroticism.
-beer coseys. self explanatory.
-pogs. due to make a comeback.
-lasers. for those times you need a laser.
-
-temporary tattoos. just pretty much tribal for your lower back (aka the tramp stamp).
-calendar. 12 months of greased of photos from team members.
-rap album. people like rap.
-our own video game. pretty much you get drunk and go skate and when a kid asks you for a sticker you throw a lawn chair or an empty bottle at them.
-wind resistant lawn chairs. to throw at kids when they ask you for a sticker.
-dan arget lip gloss. he makes out with a ton of dudes and so can you.
more updates on the company in the making soon.
-bibs. so if you're eating ribs and skating you won't look like a drunk.
-bbq tongs. if you're going to live by the 4 b's (boards,bbqs,beer,and bitches) then this is a necessity.
-a board with gary busey on it. eroticism.
-beer coseys. self explanatory.
-pogs. due to make a comeback.
-lasers. for those times you need a laser.
-
-temporary tattoos. just pretty much tribal for your lower back (aka the tramp stamp).
-calendar. 12 months of greased of photos from team members.
-rap album. people like rap.
-our own video game. pretty much you get drunk and go skate and when a kid asks you for a sticker you throw a lawn chair or an empty bottle at them.
-wind resistant lawn chairs. to throw at kids when they ask you for a sticker.
-dan arget lip gloss. he makes out with a ton of dudes and so can you.
more updates on the company in the making soon.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Glamorous Glue
I seriously get sent a link to the zeitgeist movie at least once a week. do i believe 9/11 was a conspiracy? probably. there is a decent amount of proof to back it up and a ton of youtube videos all for it...so why isn't the public more aware? there must be a distraction. what has hit america by storm, sells a million dollars worth of ringtones and other useless crap, and has enough popularity to make everyone forget about 9/11 and the war? soulja boy. soulja boy is defiantly a part of the 9/11 conspiracy and this boy isn't going to sit here and take it, observe:
who is soulja boy really working for? think about that one.
who is soulja boy really working for? think about that one.
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Get Off My Plane
the other night i saw the hives and some emo girl jumped on my back and bit my neck 28 weeks later style. it scared the crap out of me. i think it's karma for the valentines day article.
other noteable mentions:
-the donnas played before them... they sucked.
-some girl started puking before the hives came on and ran away holding her mouth. everyone laughed.
-some middle aged lady was in the mosh pit elbowing chicks in the face. i called her 'the enforcer'.
-that girl who bit me came back, and bit mark instead this time.
it was a rad night, i love the hives.
other noteable mentions:
-the donnas played before them... they sucked.
-some girl started puking before the hives came on and ran away holding her mouth. everyone laughed.
-some middle aged lady was in the mosh pit elbowing chicks in the face. i called her 'the enforcer'.
-that girl who bit me came back, and bit mark instead this time.
it was a rad night, i love the hives.
Monday, March 3, 2008
You Are The Quarry
Things that are awesome:
-a t rex driving a fighter jet
-that new rambo movie
-redline (i'll get back to this later)
-spin kicking a vampire through a 50 story window
Things that are not awesome:
-the flu
-being stuck in bed for 5 days
-coughing like a dinosaur
-migraines
-etc
I've been sick for a week straight and I'm sorry for the lack of posts last week. I will make up for it throughout the week.
Now, back to red line.
I for one, chase the energy drink dragon. I rarely sleep and I talk a lot, so energy drinks are a must for me. Here are some experiments I have conducted:
RED BULL: 2/5
It's seriously too small. For the same price I can get an australian beer can sized energy drink that's more potent. red bulls good if you like wasting money and only need a bit of energy. also ryan shekler drinks it, which no longer makes it legit. see life of ryan for examples why.
BOOKOO: 2.5/5
It's 3 energy drinks in one and tastes terrible. It works alright, but tastes like crappy cough medicine.
MONSTER: 4/5
Probably the best common and easy to find energy drink. twice maybe even three times bigger then red bull and keeps you up. rumor has it if you drink enough you can see into the future. kevin costner told me that.
REDLINE: 6/5
holy mother of god. zero carbs and everything. i drank one and 20 minutes later i was sweating and shaking and stuff. i'm still wired off of it and it's been like 3 hours. i might actually become a red line junkie. if you can find it, buy it. and if red line happens to come across this blog and wants to send me a crate or twenty, by all means. sign me up. i need to race kevin costner to the future before it's too late.
-a t rex driving a fighter jet
-that new rambo movie
-redline (i'll get back to this later)
-spin kicking a vampire through a 50 story window
Things that are not awesome:
-the flu
-being stuck in bed for 5 days
-coughing like a dinosaur
-migraines
-etc
I've been sick for a week straight and I'm sorry for the lack of posts last week. I will make up for it throughout the week.
Now, back to red line.
I for one, chase the energy drink dragon. I rarely sleep and I talk a lot, so energy drinks are a must for me. Here are some experiments I have conducted:
RED BULL: 2/5
It's seriously too small. For the same price I can get an australian beer can sized energy drink that's more potent. red bulls good if you like wasting money and only need a bit of energy. also ryan shekler drinks it, which no longer makes it legit. see life of ryan for examples why.
BOOKOO: 2.5/5
It's 3 energy drinks in one and tastes terrible. It works alright, but tastes like crappy cough medicine.
MONSTER: 4/5
Probably the best common and easy to find energy drink. twice maybe even three times bigger then red bull and keeps you up. rumor has it if you drink enough you can see into the future. kevin costner told me that.
REDLINE: 6/5
holy mother of god. zero carbs and everything. i drank one and 20 minutes later i was sweating and shaking and stuff. i'm still wired off of it and it's been like 3 hours. i might actually become a red line junkie. if you can find it, buy it. and if red line happens to come across this blog and wants to send me a crate or twenty, by all means. sign me up. i need to race kevin costner to the future before it's too late.
Monday, February 25, 2008
This Apparatus Must Be Earthed
Can you believe we used to watch wrestling? I remember thinking it was real.
DRAGON DRAGON!! for those who couldn't stand to watch the whole thing go to 6:18 of that to see the best part. here's some more epicness
and the greatest thing to ever happen to wrestling....i present to you:
DRAGON DRAGON!! for those who couldn't stand to watch the whole thing go to 6:18 of that to see the best part. here's some more epicness
and the greatest thing to ever happen to wrestling....i present to you:
Thursday, February 21, 2008
William, It Was Really Nothing
Valentines Day. some cringe at that word. why? because that day always sucks for them. here are 5 helpful tips on what to do next year, get book marking.
1. Take her paintballing.
Now you're probably saying most girls don't like paintball, and you are right. this is the first test, putting you in control and if she leaves then whatever, she wasn't going to be fun or liked by your friends anyways. Shoot her, chase her, do what you gotta do to let her know you are one big crazy bundle of love.
2. Be nice, but not a sissy.
Hold the laundry door open for her, watch her make you supper, etc etc.
3. Start a cult.
What better bond to share with someone then being the co-founders of a cult. get awesome with it! think of things like the no pants cult, get drunk and play twister cult, or nothing that happens leaves this room cult.
4. Get shitty drunk.
As if you weren't already. This is the most reasonable one and all you need is either a 24 of pbr, 2-4 bottles of wine, or gin/vodka/whiske/anything that can be mixed. you also need the lady/guy/goat/sock puppet/whatever you're into, and a tv/computer/record player. Done, you're set. Now just play truth or dare and wait for your turn you eager bastard.
5. Fight a homeless person.
If you have to take out your anger on valentines day, by all means, do it on the homeless. what are they going to do? run home? HA! fighting the homeless triggers a natural attraction to females because it shows that you could protect their young. it's science, really.
so just follow those steps and i'm sure next year will be a lot better for you, if not, you still got drunk, went paintballing, started a cult, and fought a homeless person. fuck yeah dude!
1. Take her paintballing.
Now you're probably saying most girls don't like paintball, and you are right. this is the first test, putting you in control and if she leaves then whatever, she wasn't going to be fun or liked by your friends anyways. Shoot her, chase her, do what you gotta do to let her know you are one big crazy bundle of love.
2. Be nice, but not a sissy.
Hold the laundry door open for her, watch her make you supper, etc etc.
3. Start a cult.
What better bond to share with someone then being the co-founders of a cult. get awesome with it! think of things like the no pants cult, get drunk and play twister cult, or nothing that happens leaves this room cult.
4. Get shitty drunk.
As if you weren't already. This is the most reasonable one and all you need is either a 24 of pbr, 2-4 bottles of wine, or gin/vodka/whiske/anything that can be mixed. you also need the lady/guy/goat/sock puppet/whatever you're into, and a tv/computer/record player. Done, you're set. Now just play truth or dare and wait for your turn you eager bastard.
5. Fight a homeless person.
If you have to take out your anger on valentines day, by all means, do it on the homeless. what are they going to do? run home? HA! fighting the homeless triggers a natural attraction to females because it shows that you could protect their young. it's science, really.
so just follow those steps and i'm sure next year will be a lot better for you, if not, you still got drunk, went paintballing, started a cult, and fought a homeless person. fuck yeah dude!
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Rick Moranis built my hot rod.
The hamster sums up the TV industry perfectly. Now that the writer's strike is done, actors a week later start up a new strike. Are you serious? You make 20 million dollars a movie and you're pissed? GIVE ME NEW EPISODES OF THE OFFICE, DAMMIT! It's really easy to find replacements and they won't charge millions, bitch about their coffee not being imported from brazil, or fighting you russell crowe style. observe:
that shark scene seriously scared the crap out of me.
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